Childish Hope
by wimsicalpan
Summary: Sam still said 'Yes' to Lucifer and now, the apocalypse is here and the End is getting closer. Dean, Cas and Charlotte were trying to survive. Not just the Croats or the demons, but survive themselves, the people they're surrounded by and their own minds. An end!verse AU set from 2010 onwards, based around the characters from "Kiddy Corral" (Will update every other Thursday!)
1. 24th January 2010

**A/N:** People wanted an endverse!au for the series _"Kiddy Corral"_. So here it is. I'm going to try to update this every other Thursday. There may be more frequent updates, but for now it's every two weeks, just so I don't burn myself out. Enjoy the first chapter.

 **WARNINGS:** This story will contain references to drug use, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, emotional abuse, depression, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of self harm and everything else that's negative. Please be warned that this is not a pretty fic, there will not be many good moments in this, at all. It's dark. Very dark.

Childish Hope

 _24th January -2010_

 _8 months after Sam said 'Yes'_

Charlotte Winchester stared at the flickering flames, anger burning in her veins. None of this was supposed to happen. She'd promised Dean a happy future, promised him that everything would be okay. Wood crackled and she ground down on her teeth harshly and curled her hands into fists. This wasn't supposed to happen, at all. She wanted to cry, wanted to spend the entire day curled up in bed crying and yelling, breaking stuff until she was done.

She wanted to give up now. Fuck the world, fuck saving people. They'd tried that and this was what they'd gotten in return. This was their reward for trying to save the world.

"I'm sorry," Chuck mumbled from her side.

She didn't bother looking at him but she heard Dean make a noise close to a hum of, "Yeah."

It had been eight months since Sam had said "Yes" to Lucifer, hoping that he could control him long enough to jump into the pit. Only he hadn't been able to. Lucifer had turned round, shown them that he was in control and almost killed them. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to steady herself, trying to ground herself in the here and now. Dean and Cas. That's all that were left, that's what she had to worry about.

Charlotte flicked her eyes open and stared at the burning fires a little more before she felt her strength fall. She couldn't stand this, couldn't pretend that this hadn't cut deep for her, for Dean. For everyone. Bobby had been the one with the most knowledge about anything old and ancient, never afraid to speak his mind. And Nat. Charlotte let out a strangled noise at the very idea she'd never see her face again. Nat kept them sane. Kept them human. She was the voice of reason.

Gone.

Killed by a group of hunters who wanted to kill them for starting this. Tears started to slide down Charlotte's face and she felt the warmth of the embers tease her skin. Croats would be swarming this area soon, the smoke from the funerals a sign of human life. But Charlotte really couldn't find it in herself to move. Others had left long ago, and the sound of a car thrumming into life let her know that Chuck was leaving with the last bunch that cared enough to mourn and to carry on living.

"We should leave soon," Cas muttered.

Charlotte barely looked away from the pyres to look at Cas, a bloodied cut decorating his cheek. "Not yet," she croaked out quietly. She closed her eyes again, willing herself to hold it together, just a little longer. Even Cas had been hurt in the fight and she hated to imagine how bad it really was for the ex-angel.

"Two minutes Cas," Dean agreed by her side and she reached out for his hand, desperate to have something else to ground her to the here and now. She clung to his hand, squeezed it as hard as she could and Dean did the same.

"I'll keep the engine running," Cas mumbled.

Charlotte couldn't help the watery flicker of a smile. Cas. Cas was just so, Cas. Thank God they still had someone left. "We should go," she whispered, hating the way the words formed on her tongue.

"I know," Dean whispered back.

"I don't want to."

"Me neither."

She felt the tears slide down her cheeks and over her chin. Silently she cried. Today, it felt like the world had ended and she really didn't care about trying to fix it. They'd tried so many times and now, she just wanted to let it all end. Let Lucifer have it and let the Croats win.

The sound of growls, echoing in the distance made Dean's hand tighten its hold on hers. "We should go," he whispered and she could feel him looking around them.

Charlotte shook her head. Bobby and Natalie deserved a proper send off, for them to see this through to the end. They deserved that. "Wait."

"Char," he pleaded and she lifted her head to see his own green eyes, tear stained and broken, "we have to go. Now."

Fuck this new world. "Dean-"

He tugged on her hand and she was reluctant to move but she shuffled her feet after him, the sound of crackling fire wood a last reminder to what they were leaving behind. She followed behind him to the only jeep still around, the engine quietly humming away with Cas sat in the driver's seat, his face a mask of serious concern. He shifted when he saw them and they climbed into the back as Cas got the vehicle moving.

Nobody said anything and Charlotte clung to Dean's hand as she listened to the faint sound of growls behind them. It sounded as though they'd had seconds and she took a deep, shaky breath. She'd had a plan for today, a happy plan, something to brighten the day up, make the future look a little better, at least for Dean.

Today was his birthday.

She scoffed. "What?" Dean said.

"Hmm?" she lifted her head in his direction and found him staring at her, his face streaked with dried up tears. "Nothing," she mumbled and she let go of his hand to wipe her own face. They still had people depending on them, people moving on and wanting to survive. The world kept turning after all right? She glanced at the rear view mirror and saw Cas looking worriedly at her and she rolled her eyes before she propped her hand on the door and cradled her chin in her hand. "We still have some alcohol in the stores right?"

Dean snorted, "We better."

"Three bottles of whiskey," Cas added and Charlotte nodded. They could find more some other time. The rest of the journey was rode in silence and Charlotte really wished they had some tapes or CD's, anything to stop her from retreating back into her own mind with dark thoughts about how they were all going to die bloody.

"We need to make a run for more," she mumbled.

"Yeah," Dean agreed in a quiet mutter, "I think there's an old brewery a few towns over. Gates still locked."

"Tomorrow?"

"Sure."

There was no weight behind any of their words and Charlotte felt the numbness was a little more over her. She wanted to drown herself in as much alcohol as she could find, wanted to pass out for days and maybe wake up never.

"Normally I condone the idea of excessive drinking," Cas added from the front seat as he turned the jeep onto the track that led back to their camp. "But in this case I think I'll make an exception."

Dean snorted and Charlotte let a vague smile start on her face. "Come on, Cas," Dean said, "every day is an exception. We might not make it to next year, next month, week, or tomorrow. Live in the here and now and just, do."

"Hear, hear," Charlotte added, already planning to drink one of those bottles herself, maybe grab some of the oxycodone they had lying around. Tonight, she wanted to sink into blissful darkness and forget the day just for a little while.

Nobody said another word as they drove up to the gate to the camp. One of the soldiers on duty, a Jonathan Turner, pulled the gate open and shut it behind them again. Cas killed the engine and Charlotte wiped her face with her hand before she climbed out. The air around the camp was full of tension and she glared around at the various buildings and people milling about. Last night had unsettled everybody and she could feel it press down on her shoulders like a huge weight she couldn't shake and she held back her sigh as she passed a glance with Dean before she bee lined it for their cabin. It sat off to one side of the center of camp and served as the war cabin, for planning and discussing everything important for everybody's survival. She pushed the door open and her eyes snagged on the grey leather jacket on the back of a chair and suddenly felt the world come crashing down on her. That was Natalie's. There was a cabin filled with her stuff that would need clearing out. Bobby's place would need clearing too and she slammed the door behind her, tears starting again in her eyes.

She let out a growl and grabbed the nearest thing to her, a book, and tossed it across the room. It hit the opposite wall with a dull thud but it wasn't enough. Nothing would be enough to quell the anger burning inside of her and she turned, swiping her arms over the counter to shove everything to the floor in a loud clatter. "Please," she whispered, her breaths coming out in ragged pants as she pressed the palms of her hands onto the now empty counter. She scratched at its surface, her arms trembling with the need to do something and she lifted her head up to stare at the ceiling. "If you guys are still listening, if you still give anywhere close to a fucking damn, get down here and fix what you started."

Nothing.

There was always nothing and she kicked at the cupboard in front of her knees with a yell before she slumped to the floor in defeat, all of the energy leaving her. Her hand found its way to her neck and she clutched the ring- _War's ring-_ tightly, grounding herself, trying to reassure herself that they would do this, they would win, with or without the angels. They could do this.

The door to their cabin opened and Dean stepped in only to stop a moment later, his eyes fixed on the same chair Charlotte had seen and she snorted. "Yeah, me too."

His eyes turned to find her on the floor and his expression darkened into a mix of worry, hurt, pain, concern, anger and twenty other emotions Charlotte didn't want to name. He held a bottle out to her and she took it, twisting the cap off to take three deep gulps with a hiss. "Thanks," she mumbled.

He slumped to the floor next to her and started working on his own bottle. "We'll deal with it tomorrow."

Charlotte snorted again and took another swig. "Everything's always tomorrow," she mumbled.

"Shut up," he chided with a tiny flicker of a smile and Charlotte nudged her knee against his.

The door opened again and both parties looked up to see Cas standing there, a grim look on his face as he took in the scene of them both on the floor, one bottle each. "I can go-"

Dean waved him off and patted the floor space next to him. "Join us." After a moment he sighed and Charlotte watched him run a hand over his face before he looked up at Cas with pleading eyes, "Please, Cas, just, stay."

There was a moments hesitation on the angels face before he nodded and closed the door behind him. He grunted as he took the offered seat next to Dean before he took the bottle Dean offered. Charlotte leaned forward to watch him take a hesitant swig with a wince and she smirked before she leaned back against the unit. It still hadn't quite sunk in that Cas was human and the little things reminded her that he was just as vulnerable as them now. She could feel it herself, the way the angels left it took something from her and somehow, she'd gone back to being just human her.

Cas was keeping a brave face and she passed her bottle to him. "Drink up buddy, we're in for a long night." He took it with a minute nod and kept drinking. Charlotte occasionally stole Dean's bottle before she stood up and searched the cluttered counter for the small bottle of oxycodone she'd wanted earlier. She popped the lid, tipped three pills into her hands and passed the bottle to Cas before she sat back down next to Dean and swallowed the pills down with some whiskey.

Dean snatched the bottle from Cas' hands and grabbed himself a couple of pills before he held back out and swallowed his own drugs with a sigh. She really didn't want to see what they looked like to anybody that dared to come in and leaned her head on Dean's shoulder.

This was it. Her, Dean and Cas. They were all that were left of Team Free Will. One ex-angel, one ex-nephilim, and the brother of Lucifer's vessel.


	2. 24th January 2010 part 2

**A/N:** Here's the second instalment of this end!verse story and I'm really sorry for what happens. Chapters will be from one character's POV, unless stated otherwise. There will be times where we see things through Cas' eyes and times we see things through Dean's eyes, so it's not going to be just Charlotte all the way through. Plus, it can't. *wink wink *

I'm thinking of updating this story more often actually, I'm having a lot of fun writing it but we'll see.

As I said, every single warning possible applies to this story. So, we're still riding a whole lot of negativity. Sorry in advance, and I kind of got carried away in writing it. But please, enjoy.

24th January – 2010

Part 2

Charlotte lost track of how long they'd been sat there, drinking away their sorrows and forgetting about the world for just a little while. It had been a good hour at least, if the lightness that transcended her body was anything to go by. There was a creeping numbness to her fingers and her head and she welcomed it with open arms, let it wash over her and let it help her to numb whatever pain was hammering away inside of her chest.

The two bottles were half finished, Charlotte nicking from Dean, Dean stealing from Cas and her, and Cas had popped two extra pills somewhere along the way. She really hated to think about how he was doing. Being human was still a fresh, eye opening experience for him and he'd been thrown into the deep end with nothing but them to help him out. She snorted at that idea. The two worst examples of human beings were the ones left to help Cas on his path of humanity.

Barely any words had passed between the three of them, the silence speaking enough for them with the heaviness of the day still hanging onto their shoulders. But a knock at the door disturbed their peace and Charlotte started at the offending item with a glare. Today was not the day to be asking them to care, well, _she'd_ lost the ability to care until tomorrow.

Dean grunted and pushed himself to his feet. Charlotte let her body slump to fill his space, her elbow keeping her propped up and her head resting against Cas' arm. She snagged the bottle from him and dropped one more pill onto her tongue and knocked it back with more whiskey. She was trying to chase the numbness that wasn't quite covering her entire being, and she knew she'd regret it, but she didn't care. Right now, that's all she wanted.

Charlotte zeroed in on Risa's voice, "The scouting group found an untouched market, about twenty miles north of here. I know it's a bad time, but we're running low on a lot of food stuffs, personal hygiene stuff, and there's gas there too."

She zoned out the rest of the conversation and knocked her head gently against Cas' arm. She felt him turn his head to look down at her and she tilted her head back to peer up at him with a small smile, "How you doing?"

He blinked down at her twice before he started to answer. "Natalie and Bobby were two good people. It's hard to not be affected."

Charlotte nodded and settled her head a little more comfortably against Cas' arm. "Yeah. They didn't deserve that."

"Indeed."

Charlotte could feel Cas' arm rumble from his voice and couldn't help the feeling of comfort that it brought. She glanced to the door to see Dean rub a hand over his face and she nudged her head against Cas' arm again to get his attention once more. "What about being human? How you handling that?"

There was silence for a few seconds and Charlotte considered poking Cas to make sure he'd heard her before he quietly said, "Hard. Everything I have ever been, who I was, what I stood for, it's- it's been stripped away and I'm nothing like the angel I used to be."

The muscles in Charlotte's jaw tightened and she nodded her head. "I know how you feel. Before, before I found out who I was, a Nephilim, I kinda felt like I was missing something. Then, I found out about the angel stuff and the 'powers' I had and I felt like me. Now it's gone again and a part of me just feels... empty." Cas hummed and Charlotte peered up at him again. His brows were furrowed and his eyes were ticking away with unsaid thoughts. "I know it hurt, when it first happened to you," she started carefully, watching Cas' brows rise as he flicked his eyes down at her and she went on, "but I mean, how are you now?"

Cas licked his lips and stared at her for a second before he looked away with a heavy sigh. "I still hurt. It doesn't seem to go away." There was something more to that and Charlotte's eyes drifted to the bottle of pills clutched tightly in his hand. She'd suggested them first, having a hint to what it felt like for Cas when her own angelic side disappeared. She couldn't imagine how much pain he was in and she'd pushed those into his hands when the first signs had appeared of the angels leaving with a promise that they'd help.

Charlotte held up the whiskey bottle Dean had left behind and offered it up towards Cas. "It sucks to be human. And we both know it."

She could hear the smile on Cas' face in his next words, "I don't believe that that is something to celebrate."

He clinked his whiskey bottle with hers anyway and she shrugged a shoulder before she took a gulp. "It's the little things, Cas. Sometimes it's the anything."

Cas just hummed in response and Charlotte took that as an agreement as she took a few more gulps. Years of drinking alcohol like it was juice had built up her sobriety and she right now she was cursing past her like there was no tomorrow. Dean closed the door and came back to the pair of them a tired expression on his face. "Looks like good news," Charlotte muttered sarcastically.

"The scout party found an untouched market, twenty miles north. We need to do a supply run tomorrow."

Charlotte snorted and sat up, "I don't want to go."

"I don't either."

She sighed as she flicked her gaze away from him before she shook her head. "One of us has to." With a groan she held her bottle out to Cas, who took it, and pulled herself up, using the counter as a crutch. She shook her arms out in front of her until she had one hand curled into a fist on the other palm and she raised a brow at Dean.

He raised a brow at her for a moment before he shook his head and copied her stance. "Why not," he mumbled. "Go." They beat their fist against their palms three times before Dean threw out a scissors whilst Charlotte went with rock. Dean sighed and shook his head, "Best out of three."

"Sure." They did it again and came to the same results.

Dean stared at her hand for a moment before he waved a hand at her and scowled as he turned back towards the door. "You're going on the next one."

"Yeah," she muttered and she leaned back against the counter. Dean always chose scissors and for once, Charlotte took advantage of that.

Beside her, just as Dean opened the door to leave, Cas stood up, placing both bottles on the counter behind them. "You knew."

"What? Dean and scissors?" Cas gave her a look and she couldn't help the small smirk that twitched her own lips, "He's always been a scissors kind of guy."

"So, you cheated."

"No, I took advantage." She turned and grabbed one of the bottles before she brushed past Cas to kick one of the chairs at the table out. "You should take advantage of the untouched market, ask Dean to grab you a few things." She turned curious eyes on him and said, "Do you need anything?"

His lips parted and he shrugged a shoulder, "I'll go check."

She nodded her head and slumped into the chair with a sigh, "I should do the same."

Cas started towards the door and Charlotte gave him a tight smile as the feeling of horror started to creep back to her along with the realisation of who she would no longer be able to speak to. "You should get some rest soon," Cas said and Charlotte turned her head over her shoulder to look at him. He gave her a serious expression and a small nod towards the stuff she'd knocked onto the floor, "before you decide to break anything else."

"I'll think about it," she murmured, her eyes stuck on the stuff that nobody had touched. She heard the door close behind Cas and let out a shaky breath now that she was alone. She closed her eyes and tried to force herself into accepting that it was okay, that Natalie and Bobby didn't see things get worse before they died. Charlotte did her best to convince herself that maybe, just maybe, they were in heaven, enjoying their own little paradise. She almost did, until she cracked her eyes open and they landed on a small ballet dancer figurine that Natalie had left in their cabin. She'd wanted to be a ballerina when she'd grown up, not a god damn hunter and now, now she was-

Charlotte tightened her hold on the whiskey bottle with a small sob. They were dead. Stone cold dead and not coming back. Since the angels took off with their tail between their legs, there was every indication that heaven wasn't working anymore. There was no way to know until she- she took in a shaky breath at that idea and couldn't stop her eyes from trailing towards the gun holster that she was yet to remove from her thigh.

She couldn't be alone right now. She couldn't. She didn't want to be and she stood up, knocking her chair back. She took four large swigs of whiskey, slammed the bottle down with a shake of the table and stormed towards the door. It was still light out, the sun closing in on the horizon and Charlotte had to force her eyes away from that, just something else that neither of them would see.

She hadn't known she'd started crying again until she found herself outside the door to Cas' cabin. She hesitated in knocking and wiped her face. Once she was sure there was no more evidence of her brief failure to hold it altogether she raised her hand to knock and froze at the sound of a grunt on the other side of the door.

The beating of her heart was for a different reason this time as she heard the familiar sound of what sounded like somebody being kicked and she edged closer to the door, her ear pressed against it. "-useless piece of crap-" another kick and she pulled back. That wasn't Cas' voice.

"You're pathetic. Why the hell do Dean and Charlotte protect you?"

Cas. Somebody was aiming that at Cas and she felt the anger of loss turn into pure anger as she tried the handle to the door. It was locked and that was another indication that this was just wrong and she pounded her fist on the door three times. "Cas! Open the damn door!"

Today was not a day to be pissing her off.

Silence radiated from behind the wooden barrier and she listened carefully, already knowing what she wanted to do. Today was a very bad day to piss her off. The lock sounded and the door cracked open. Cas looked out at her through a slither of a space and on the outside, he only had the scratch on his cheek from earlier. "Charlotte," he said, "is everything alright?"

She let her eyes trail down his body and noted the ruffled shirt and the way he was bent over slightly, trying to protect his ribs and his stomach. She knew that position, had been in that position herself many a times. Cas had at least one broken rib. She flicked her eyes up to his face and curled one hand into a fist, stepped forward and planted her other hand on the door. She challenged Cas to push her away and close the door in her face as she pushed on it. He seemed to battle for a few seconds, the door not moving, before he looked away and stepped away, letting her push the door open and reveal the men that were waiting for him.

She recognised each and every one of them.

Brian, a tall, tanked guy who she was sure was ex-military. He just hadn't told them, but if his short brown hair and the careful look of his brown eyes were anything to go by, she already knew.

Luke was a lot shorter on the hand, his wavy brown hair just short enough to keep out of his eyes and he stood abruptly from the couch he'd been sitting on, hazel eyes widening in shock.

Thomas on the other looked bored, grey eyes challenging her to question what he and his buddies were doing here. He had his hands resting on the butt of a rifle that he carried around. The guy had either just finished his patrol or was due for it.

Either way, Charlotte stepped into the room, eyeing each man up with a glare. She didn't glance away from them for moment as she tilted her head towards Cas, and in a deadly voice, said, "Who broke your rib?"

"Charlo-"

"Who kicked you until your rib cracked, Cas?" Her eyes were focused on Luke, whose panicked 'we've-been-caught' eyes briefly flicked from her, to Cas and up to Brian before he focused back on her. Charlotte's gaze zeroed in on Brian and the corner of her lip twitched into a dangerous smirk. "You broke his rib," she said, matter of fact.

" _If_ I did, what's it to you?"

She tipped her head with a smirk as she stepped into the cabin and flicked the door closed with a careless push. "What's it to me?" she repeated, taking slow measured steps towards him. Out of the corner of her eyes she watched Luke take a hesitant step back. Thomas straightened up and Charlotte took another step towards Brian. "What's it to me?" she said again, turning the question into a mockery as she stopped three inches away from Brian. He was taller than her, and she had to glare _up_ at him, but she couldn't stop the twitch to her lips as she let out a scoff. "Brian, today, is _the_ _worst_ day, to piss me off."

"Charlotte," Cas said and she felt his hand on her arm try to tug her back, "we were having a small disagreement. It's over, they were just leaving."

"No," she said, shaking her arm free, "they weren't." She finally looked away from Brian to stare at Cas with narrowed eyes and she caught the sight of blood hidden just beneath his hairline. When she looked back to his face his left eye seemed to start swelling slightly, a faint bruise beginning to form. She snapped her mouth shut, all words gone from her lips, blinked once and turned her head to glare at Brian. "Why?"

Behind her, Thomas snorted and Luke did the same. Brian actually smirked as he tried to crowd her space, looming over her as he said, "Why? Because his race, his people left and he's hanging around as a reminder. If he's so powerful, then why doesn't he do something? You really think he's worth having around? We all know he's no longer an angel so why exactly should we care about him? He's useless, can't use a gun, sucks in a fight, oh and can die now, not to mention-"

Brian stumbled back, initial shock making him stumble and Charlotte carried on her momentum to fist his shirt with both of her hands and push him back until she could slam him back into the wall. She could feel Thomas and Luke tense up and ignored them in favour of growling up to Brian, "He's still here! He didn't run away like the rest of them! He gives a damn about us and you should give a damn about him!" She leaned closer to whisper, "Because he's not a coward who jumps a man in mourning for the loss of his friends."

Part of her knew that she was muttering the right words to instigate a fight and that part of her threw a happy fist into the air as Brian shoved her back and took a swing. The fist collided with her jaw and she had to take a few steps back to steady herself. "He could've stopped _all_ of this before it happened! He was a fucking angel and now? Now he's nothing. Stop pretending and realise that he's going to get us all killed with-"

She stopped trying to hold herself back. She stopped pretending that she could control the anger that had been boiling all day. The hunters they'd tracked and killed earlier on, in revenge for Natalie and Bobby, had it easy in comparison to what her mind was already spinning for these three guys. She curled both hands into fists and told herself to stop caring. That this was how she was going to let go.

She took a step forward and Brian followed her example as he swung a fist high. She ducked underneath it, reached to grab his back and pulled him forward into her knee. It hit his stomach and he doubled over her knee. She grabbed his shirt, pulled him back and brought her knee up two more times before she felt somebody pull her away from him. "Get. Off!" she yelled, shoving back against the person.

She twisted around to see Luke stumble back against the couch he'd been sitting on before a crack sounded. She snapped her head up to see Cas tumble to the floor, one hand clutching his head whilst Thomas stood over him. He brought his rifle up again to hit Cas in the back of his neck and she made a start in that direction. A hand hit her in her side, making her stumble and she felt somebody throw another punch to her back, making her fall to the floor hard enough to make her knees crack against the wood painfully.

"I don't care," Brian seethed above her as he kicked her stomach once, "who the fuck you sleep with," twice, "or who you think," three times, "you are," four times. She fell onto her elbows, one leg stretched out, unable to support her as he carried on, "But some of us aren't blind," he kicked her for a fifth time and she tried to pull herself up, groans seeping out between her clenched teeth.

She would not be beat. Not like this. She refused and she pushed herself back up onto her hands and knees. She heard another crack and glanced up to see Cas curled over himself, his hands on the back of his neck. She always did hate humans. They were worse than any of the monsters she'd faced.

"Brian," Luke mumbled and she felt the air shift as Brian stepped away from her. She spat blood onto the floor with a mental promise to clean it up later for Cas before she turned her head to see Luke pulling Brian away from her. "Maybe we should just leave."

"So she can tell Dean about this? No, I wanna make sure she stays quiet."

She couldn't explain what made her reach down to her thigh holster and grab the gun that was still nestled there. Neither could she explain what made her draw it out, click the safety off, aim it at Brian's leg and pull.

There was the loud crack of a bullet and Charlotte dropped her gun to the floor, her eyes shifting focus to Thomas. Brain cried out and she could hear Luke panicking, but she was already on her feet and moving to the man who stared at her as though she was crazy. He pointed the rifle at her and she grabbed the barrel, turned it and grabbed the gun before she shoved it back into his chest. He seemed too shocked by what she'd done to respond as his fingers let go of the gun and she slammed him back into the wall before she tore the gun away from his chest and tossed it to the ground.

She punched him in the face, grabbed the front of his shirt and swung, again, and again, and again, and again. Her blood was singing in her ears with a chant of _more, more, more, punch, punch, punch_ and she listened to it gladly. She'd broken Thomas' nose at least twice but she kept him pinned to the wall as she kept punching, already feeling his knees begin to give out. But she kept going, letting her anger drive her fist into his face again, and again and-

Somebody wrapped their arms around hers, pinning them to her side as they wrapped those same arms around her chest. Charlotte struggled, instincts telling her to get out, to be free, but then she heard Cas whispering in her ear, "Stop it, Charlotte, stop, you need to get a hold of yourself. This isn't you."

"The hell it is," she snapped back, wriggling to get free. Her anger had no outlet in terms of violence and she growled, fighting against Cas' own strength to keep her pulled away from the mess she was leaving.

"Calm, down," he ordered quietly.

" _Cas_ ," she growled out.

"Enough," he commanded and something settled over her, something warm.

People burst through the door to Cas' cabin and Charlotte felt all resolve to fight leave her as she sagged against Cas' hold. Apparently Cas hadn't been expecting it as he stumbled back and she stumbled with him, landing pretty much in his lap, his arms still around her.

"The fuck's going on?" Dean yelled out.

"Take them to the infirmary," Cas wheezed out and Charlotte took in another shaky breath. Everything hurt. Everything hurt physically, mentally, emotionally, it all hurt and she wanted to it stop. She wanted anything but the pain and she closed her eyes, curling her head towards her knees with a tiny sob.

"Jesus Christ," Risa muttered and Charlotte forced herself to take deep breaths, trying to hold it together just a little longer, a few more seconds. She could manage that.

"Deep breaths," Cas whispered in her ear and she actually listened, trying to listen and feel the expand of his chest and follow it with her own breaths. It was hard around the mumbles of orders, questions of what happened and the shuffling of bodies. But she managed it and felt her head clear of that driving need to hurt somebody or something. "Let go," he mumbled and she heard the door click shut again, "I've got you. It's okay, let go." It wasn't okay, everything was starting to hurt again.

"Charlotte?" Dean whispered from somewhere close in front of her.

"Dean," Cas' chest rumbled and Charlotte let herself sink into that familiarity. Cas was safe. She was sure. She could trust him. "Get some bandages, wipes and painkillers."

"But-"

"I've got her. Go."

There was a moment of silence the air shifted and the door opened and closed again. Charlotte felt her shoulders sag and heard Cas whisper, "There's nobody here, it's okay. I've got you, just let it go."

"I can't," she whispered, her voice breaking with each word.

"You can."

She shook her head and she didn't realise she was crying until she felt the tears drip off her chin. Cas wanted her to let go of it, let go of the anger, let go of the pain, just, let go. She couldn't. She didn't want to. Letting go meant accepting and she still didn't want to, she wasn't ready to. Natalie had offered to go to Bobby's instead of her because of a stupid issue with the cars that she had to fix. Charlotte was supposed to go, Charlotte should've been dead, not Natalie. She was the one that was supposed to help Bobby and that, those few thoughts, had her falling back against Cas' chest, tears streaming down her face as she sobbed, cried and yelled. She kicked her feet out a couple of times with a yell and turned her face towards Cas' chest. It hurt, not just her ribs, not just her stomach or her body from the physical pain. It hurt to accept it, to finally understand that there was nothing she could've done and that another piece of her life was gone, forever. It hurt and she clung to Cas' chest as she cried out her frustration, her anger and her loss. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fucking fair and she pressed her face harder against Cas' chest in the hopes it would swallow her up and change fate, change life. She wanted everything to stop hurting and she wanted to know that tomorrow wasn't another day spent trying to survive a god damn apocalypse. She just wanted everything to be better and realising that it wouldn't get better, that things were only going to get worse, that next time it was going to be Cas, Dean or her, that really hurt and she clutched at Cas' shirt as her sobs turned into quiet whimpers. The whimpers turned into silent tears and she nestled herself against Cas' chest, the feeling of his arms around her a safety net and she closed her eyes with a shaky breath. Cas' hand started to work slow, uncertain circles and she felt her body slowly relax into the soft touches. Everything hurt but somehow, Cas' hand eased that pain to the back of her mind as the darkness of exhaustion started to creep up on her and she let, welcomed it with open arms, in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, today had never happened.


	3. 24th January 2010 part 3

**A/N:** I'm sorry it's a day late. I promise I'll plan my time better for next time. Enjoy the aftermath of what had happened last time. Also, I have no idea how long this story will be or if I'll cut it down into smaller stories. I am planning on taking it a lot slower than _Kiddy Corral_ and _The Kids Aren't Alright._ (Which is why the first three chapters all happen on the same day.) I want this story to have a _LOT_ more details into it than the other stories so it might seem a bit slow. Please, let me know if that's the case and I'll try to work an in between. For now, enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think.

24th January – 2010

Part 3

The first thing Charlotte noticed when she woke up was that she was laid out on her back on a bed. The second thing she noticed was the pain in her stomach and chest and she screwed her eyes up with a hoarse groan. She wrapped an arm around her waist and willed the pain away.

"You alright?" Dean's voice sounded from her left.

She shifted her arm and looked up at with a frown. Her eyes slowly slid over to Cas and she licked her lips and quietly mumbled, "Are _you_ alright?"

Cas started at the question, his eyes flicking to Dean and it was now she noticed the bandage he had to the side of his head. "I'm fine," Cas muttered, dropping his gaze to the floor and away.

Charlotte opened her mouth to speak again, a frown on her face, but Dean beat her to it with a grumble of, "Now that everyone's awake and well, does somebody want to tell me what the fuck happened here? And why one of our guys has a blown knee?"

Charlotte glanced at Cas and when it was obvious that the ex-angel wasn't going to be forthcoming, she sighed and groaned as she pulled herself up into a sitting position, her feet over the edge of the bed. "I came to check in on Cas," she started, shifting in her seat with a wince and an arm around her stomach. "I heard somebody calling him pathetic and useless and it sure sounded like somebody was throwing punches." She watched Dean glance over towards Cas, worry etched into every feature of his face before he flicked his eyes back to her, a silent gesture to carry on. "I knocked, he opened and I could tell he had at least one broken rib. Cas tried to push me away and I forced my way in to see Brian, Luke and Thomas standing there. Thomas, by the way, I'm sure was supposed to be on duty and not overseeing Brian beat the crap out of Cas. Then Thomas decided to see how hollow Cas' skull was."

"Jesus Christ," Dean groaned, running a hand over his face. He turned to Cas with raised brows, "You didn't mention _that_."

Cas finally looked up, a firm expression on his face as he said, "I thought Charlotte having shot his knee was punishment enough."

Dean turned back to Charlotte, "Thanks for that," he started sarcastically, "cause now I've got a man who's gonna need a crutch for the rest of his life."

"You're lucky I didn't kill him," she grumbled before she groaned as she stood up.

"Oh, please, next time do," Dean carried on sarcastically.

Charlotte rolled her eyes and hunched over towards the door. "Maybe next time he shouldn't try murdering somebody!" She threw the door open and slammed it shut behind her with a growl before she stormed back to her own cabin, anger throbbing through her veins. She glared at anyone and everyone that bothered to look in her direction, making sure to slam the door to her own cabin behind her.

Today was the worst day ever, and it had gotten worse.

* * *

Dean sighed as he watched Charlotte leave. He groaned and ran a hand over his face. "Fucking hell," he mumbled to himself.

"To be fair to her," Cas spoke quietly, "he threw the first punch."

"Cas!" Dean started before he let out a breath and dropped his head. "Just, sit down." He waved absently to the bed before he padded over to the small sink Cas had in his cabin. He glanced over at Cas and raised his brows, " _Sit_." He watched Cas until he sat back down on the chair and Dean sighed before he carried on with wetting a cloth and grabbing a clean towel. He shuffled back over to Cas' chair, pulled another one up by his side and sat down. He reached up, ignoring Cas' look, to prod gently at his scalp. When he earned a painful for his effort Dean went about carefully pushing Cas' hair out of the way until he saw a freshly dried bloodied spot. "Fuck's sake," he muttered as he dabbed at it gently. Cas tried to pull away and Dean gripped his shoulder, "Keep still. If you'd said something earlier this wouldn't be so bad."

Cas shrugged his shoulders and averted his gaze with a dejected, "Sorry."

Dean nodded his head once and started again, "Look, Cas, you're human. You get hurt, you bleed, you tell somebody. Everything's-"

"-still new. I know, Dean." He sideglanced at Dean with a frown before Cas licked his lips, "It's just..."

Dean gave him a moment before he stopped wiping at his head and tapped his shoulder once, "What?"

Cas sighed and Dean only carried on with what he was doing when Cas started talking again. "It's just, admitting that I need help, admitting that in this form, without, without my wings, it's-" he shook his head and clamped his mouth shut. Dean froze and stared at Cas' cheek, knowing exactly what Cas was trying to say. "It's been a month since the angels left and I became human. It's a new way of living that feels _beneath_ me."

Dean opened his mouth before he dropped his gaze away from Cas, "Sorry."

"It's fine," Cas mumbled. "It's something I need to get used to."

Dean made a non committal sound and nodded his head slowly. He hesitated before he started to wipe at the fresh blood on Cas' scalp. "You're not alone, you know that right? I know we're not angels and that we don't know what that's like, but me and Charlotte? We're here for you. You can talk to us." Cas nodded his head gently and Dean sighed as he pressed the dry towel to Cas' head to soak up some of the blood. "You hurt anywhere else?"

"My ribs," Cas mumbled.

"Shirt up," Dean said and he pulled the towel away from Cas' head and tossed it to the bed. He stood up and moved the chair to sit in front of Cas and raised his brows at Cas' hesitance to lift his shirt. "What's up?"

Cas shook his head and muttered quietly, "Nothing," before he grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted it to halfway up his chest.

Dean winced at the blue and yellow bruising that was already starting to colour Cas' side. Cas peered over his shirt at his side too and Dean watched the ex-angel pull a face before he looked away. "Is it bad?"

"It's gonna hurt for a week, sting for a month, and you might be feeling it for a while after that. Just don't do anything too crazy and you'll be fine." Cas nodded his head and Dean let out another breath. "Cas," he started with a heavy breath. Cas fixed his eyes on him as he lowered his shirt back down and Dean kept his gaze as he thought about what he wanted to say. "Look," he went on, "I know you feel like you failed in some way. You wanted to stop all of this, I get that, but me and Charlotte were right there too. Don't, don't beat yourself up and don't let others do it for you. I know you, I know you can throw a punch, I know that you know how to fight. You could've easily put Brian on his ass, but you didn't."

Cas shrugged his shoulders again and Dean wanted to smile at the small human traits he was picking up from them. "I still feel as though, this, this is the punishment I deserve. For failing everyone, for failing you."

Dean snorted and clapped his hand on Cas' shoulder. "From where I'm sitting, you haven't failed me yet." He smiled widely and squeezed Cas' shoulder once before he clapped him on it a couple more times. "You're still here, willing to fight with the rest of us mud monkeys," Cas' lips gave a small echo of a smile at that and Dean took that as a victory, "you haven't failed anyone. Those cowards up there? They're the ones that should be ashamed, that have failed everyone."

Cas nodded and his lips were a touch wider and Dean finally let his hand slip from Cas' shoulder. "Thank you," Cas mumbled, meeting Dean's gaze, "that, that helps."

"I'm not just a pretty face," Dean teased with a wink before he grinned and stood up, clapping his hands together. "Right," he turned to look around Cas' cabin and spotted the three bottles that were on the counter. He read the labels and settled on the Tylenol. He turned and tossed the bottle to Cas, who caught it and turned it around to read the label himself. "Take them for the pain. Try not to overdo it, we're running low on that stuff actually. You good?"

Cas nodded again and gave Dean an honest look. "I'll be okay."

"Good," Dean said before he thumbed a hand over his shoulder, "I'll go make sure Charlotte hasn't shot anybody else."

Cas let out a chuckle and tilted his head to one side, "She was disarmed when she left."

"Yeah, doesn't mean she stayed that way," he headed towards the door, his eyes glancing around the cabin once more and he did a final sweep of Cas' body, "get some rest Cas, it's been a long day."

"Of course," Cas mumbled.

Dean left with a final nod and closed the door firmly behind himself. He did a scan of the area of with his eyes and was surprised to find it quiet, considering what had happened just an hour ago. He shrugged it off and made his way to his and Charlotte's cabin. At the door, he took a deep breath, braced himself and pushed the door open. It was quiet inside and he closed the door behind him with a small frown. When he finally looked towards the bed he found Charlotte's form curled up on the mattress and he sighed before he kicked his shoes off, locked the door and made his way over to her. He climbed in behind her and wrapped an arm around her waist, being careful of her ribs as he flattened his hand over her stomach. "Hey," he whispered and he kissed the back of her neck, "you good?"

She shook her head once and Dean just kissed her neck once more. "Today was supposed to be a good day," she whispered.

Dean raised his brows at her and tapped her stomach once when she wasn't going to elaborate, "How so?"

Charlotte rolled onto her back and Dean looked over her, noting the red rimmed eyes and the pitiful expression that covered her face. "Cause," she started, "it's your birthday."

Dean froze. Was it? Was it really? He hadn't been keeping track of the days, had no way to do so and the very idea of his birthday hadn't crossed his mind. He frowned and ducked his head. He shrugged a shoulder and shuffled to lie down next to her. "Doesn't matter," he whispered, his voice catching in his throat.

She scoffed and Dean flicked his eyes to her face as she shook her head. "Yeah, it does. It's the little things, Dean. The birthdays, the anniversaries, Christmas. The little things to keep us going. And today just sucks."

"Everyday sucks."

Charlotte snorted and rolled to face Dean, burying her face in his chest. "You know, on that supply run the other day, I found half a cherry pie. Thought you'd like some."

"Pie? Really?"

She shrugged a shoulder, "Somebody must've made it."

Now Dean snorted and he shook his head, "With everything that's going on they decided to bake a pie?"

Charlotte poked his chest with a murmur of, "The little things. If we had the ingredients, an oven, or something that worked, I'd make chocolate cupcakes." After a moment she groaned and Dean lifted his head to look down at her with worry. "I miss cake," she mumbled.

Dean laughed and settled back down. "Get some rest."

"You get some rest," she grumbled and Dean couldn't stop smiling. "How's Cas?"

He nodded his head and kissed her temple. "He'll be fine. Ribs will be killing him for a month and he needs to be careful with his head, but he'll live."

"You know that's not going to be the last time that that happens right?"

Dean closed his eyes and nodded slowly. He had a feeling that it was only a matter of time until people started pointing fingers at Cas. In the early days he'd been the one who cleared the way for them to make a quick exit, had healed everybody up of everything and had been able to run reconnaissance for them. "We'll sort it," he muttered, kissing her temple again.

Silence enveloped them for several minutes before Charlotte broke it with a mutter, "He needs to learn how to shoot a gun."

Dean smiled, trying to imagine an angel of the lord with a pistol or a shotgun. "We'll get to that when he can walk without feeling sorry for himself." He squeezed her side gently and looked back down at her, "Sleep, that's an order."

She smirked up at him and nodded her head, "Yes Sir."

He grinned and pulled her closer to his chest, "Tomorrow, before I have to leave, we can work on that Sir."

"Yes Sir," she whispered before she hummed and Dean followed that hum with a sigh of his own.


End file.
